By Adrienne Sweetwater and Mariana Barros
Philosophically speaking, the Enlightenment period and values never exactly made it into Brazilian people’s hearts. But what does it have to say about the Brazilian Emotional Intelligence we share as a culture?
It’s safe to argue that large, rational, logical, objective long-term thinking and a control-over-nature orientation are not necessarily part of the Brazilian cultural mindset. Instead, Brazilian cultural values are centered around relationships — affect, emotion, and living in the present moment.
Foreigners who spend a significant time in Brazil, whether they liked the experience or not, often say that the greatest lesson they learned was getting reconnected to their heart and a little disconnected from their reason. Or, at least, that they learned to accept that logic shouldn’t always be the main factor in decision-making.
In the words of Sergio Buarque de Holanda, one of the most important Brazilian sociologists, also well known as Chico Buarque’s father, Brazilians could be called the “cordial people”. With this concept of cordiality, Buarque not only addresses our society’s imperative of always pleasing the other – from the colonizer to our kids -but also highlights that the Brazilian population has never been through a formal institutionalization or professionalization process that encourages ‘controlling’ of one’s emotions or the spiritual aspects of our lives.
He takes the word cor, from Latin, to call attention to people guided by their hearts, for better or for worse. Showing emotions in Brazil is mandatory and very welcomed, even in the business environment – and this is the Brazilian Emotional Intelligence the whole world has a lot to learn from.
Paulo Coelho and the Brazilian Emotional Intelligence
When discussing Brazilian Emotional Intelligence in our intercultural workshops, we must mention Brazilian author Paulo Coelho, known for his international best-seller, The Alchemist. With over 65 million copies sold and translated into 80 languages, it set the Guinness World Record for the most translated book by any living author.
Coelho is exalted by international readers for providing various spiritual “a-ha” moments about how to live life with meaning and universal connectivity. For most Brazilians however, he simply translated the every-day knowledge about human belonging and energetic well-being that we learned from our grandmothers.
Indeed, Coelho is not as well recognized or admired in Brazil as he is in the rest of the world, and it’s worth mentioning that there are Brazilians who dislike his work completely and do not see the value in it. We like to joke in our trainings that Paulo Coelho is actually an excellent solution for the secularized modern world seeking some sense.
Many people do not want to go back to an organized religion or a God, so they welcome Coelho’s ideas on spirituality! As a highly polemic topic that provokes lively discussion among Brazilians, the subject is worth a separate article for a later point in time.
The culture of affection and it’s language
Anyway, the point is: understanding the inherent need to belong is an Emotional Intelligence embodied within the Brazilian cultural mindset. While many argue that belonging is a universal human need, the ways in which belonging is expressed and communicated are completely culturally contextual.
For foreigners living in Brazil, it looks downright unprofessional and childish to watch two female coworkers caressing one another’s hair during work hours. Similarly, it may seem incomprehensible to call one’s Brazilian boss by an affectionate nickname.
Yet, for Brazilians, you cannot separate physical contact and verbal affection from creating a sense of place and acceptance in any setting, including the office.
It’s no wonder then that Brazilian Portuguese – as the language used to communicate an extremely high Emotional Intelligence grounded in the fundamental importance for human connection – includes numerous words to describe the complexity of human emotions, connections and belonging. For instance, while the adjective carente directly translates to ‘needy’ in English, Brazilians use it to mean lacking affection or in need of attention, and the word doesn’t necessarily have the same negative or judgmental connotation as the English translation. It comes from:
Carência
noun
- lack of something necessary; deprivation.
- affective need.
We’ve done our best to translate some additional affective concepts—prerequisites to recognizing the depth and complexity of Brazilian Emotional Intelligence:
Acarinhar
verb
- to treat someone with affection. To spoil, to caress, touch lightly, stroke. To touch lightly, to nourish.
Cafuné
noun
- gently running one’s fingertips through another’s hair or scalp. A caress in general; cuddle, pampering.
Dar um cheiro
expression
- literally, “to give someone a smell.”
In cultural mindsets based on reason and logic, smelling is usually reserved for foods and flowers, and certainly would not be considered for demonstrating physical affection or care. To dar um cheiro is used, especially in the northeast of Brazil, just like sending someone a hug or a kiss. To acarinhar, give cheiros and cafuné are examples of physical affection that express intimacy and human connection not exclusive to lovers or romantic partners.
If one is feeling carente and wants to receive some more attention, they might put on a bit of a show and act dengoso:
Dengoso
adjective
- to act cunningly, sly, artful. Seductive and insinuating
Dengoso doesn’t necessarily have a sexual connotation, it just means calling attention to the fact that one has an emotional need to receive attention or affect. Similarly, one may want to be ‘pampered’ or ‘spoiled’ but the cultural subtleties for the verb paparicar are so exquisite that translations in English just don’t do the concept justice:
Paparicar
verb
- literally, “to eat very slowly.” To dote upon, to spoil, to show affection towards
The Brazilian cultural mindset understands that physical and verbal demonstrations of affection and comfort are fundamental rituals for relational wellbeing – they directly contribute to one’s sense of belonging. This differs drastically from cultures that highly value objectivity, where spoiling has an almost exclusively negative connotation, perhaps with the important exception of grandparents treating grandchildren on occasion.
This mindset also helps Brazilians become very good context readers. Since we share, even silently, our emotions with others, we are able to read what is going on behind the scenes and between the lines in business situations where most foreigners aren’t. The Brazilian Emotional Intelligence has many and many more applications.
With the prevalence of social distancing and isolation in the pandemic, more than ever before, the world has woken up to the need for human contact, connectivity, and the consequences of a lack of affection. What it means to belong has taken on new meanings and definitions as we navigate through our virtual and face-to-face worlds. Indeed, the language and soft skills of Brazilian Emotional Intelligence have much to offer the international community in these troubling times.